Logline: Everything in this boy's life is scheduled or already set up; he has no time for anyone or anything but what is already planned, until his schedule is finally broken.
It's night time and the boy sets up all his stuff for the next day his gym bag, backpack, SAT prep book and planner. This boy has no phone just a watch which runs his life as well as his planner, his sense of time is always on point and nothing distracts whats in front of him. He has no time for leisurely activities and merely waves at friends and girls.
As the boys alarm goes off he quickly and mechanically gets up brushes his teeth and goes through his daily morning routine with no distractions. He goes to school and is once again mechanical going from class to class with no distractions then to the gym and finally to a SAT prep class. He already has a pre-set life with the only goal, is to getting to a good college and not enjoying anything as of now. Every ounce of his life is being contolled by the watch on his hand (possibly a gold watch to signify restriction). This boy is a popular boy too who enjoys the attention and is praised by his work ethic by all, his looks are pretty well rounded as he constantly attends the gym. Girls even try to make an effort to say hi and talk to him, but he treats every girl the same with small talk, but nothing further fearing a distraction. Everything to this boy is a distraction or a waste of time, he even scoffs at using the bathroom, viewing it also as a distraction. Eating for this boy is also mechanical with him taking his meals at exactly the same time and finishing his food at the exact same time every day.
(flashbacks)
This boy's life was not always this mechanical before getting into high school he ran what was considered a "normal" life with leisurely activities and attending parties and being as sociable as ever, but just as he ended middles school his life drastically changed. Before this change the boy and his best friend Bree were inseperable, they were like brothers. They always competed against each other and pushed each other hanging out everyday sharing everything with one another. Not a secret could be between them, but going in to high school Brock the main character had an epiphany and without explanation became a lot more withdrawn and mechanical. Bree confused and rejected felt offended that his friend changed so suddenly and drastically with no explanation but as his "brother" respected his change and decieded he'd wait until Brock approached him about his new lifestlye.
3 years have passed though and it is already senior year Brock hasn't said anything. As Brock continues on with his mechanical lifestlye for the first time he starts to realize this girl who all but seems too perfect. She is everything and has everything plays sports, does well in school, and simply can make a room light up with her smile. Brock notices her and only her and spends a little more time putting a slight effort with her but just as he is about to get off schedule he looks at his watch and leaves in mid sentence rushing to his next activity in his life. This girl is also honored Brock is talking to her but confused at the same time.
Finally Bree is fed up with Brock ignoring him and just saying whats up for the past three years so deciedes to confront him as well as the girl Ariel. It was friday and Bree determined goes straight up to Brock after school just as hes about to leave and grabs him. Brock says "hey" and is about to continue on leaving when Bree says "thats all you can say after we spent our childhood together?" Brock pauses and Bree goes on ranting how he never stopped him before and waited but couldn't anymore. Bree said "if you still didnt want to be friends why didnt you say so?" "Isnt that what you want" Brock in a confused state is speechless and Bree says angirly "fine go on with your merry life but dont still expect me to be there for you still "brother" (in a sarcastic tone). (He storms off) Brock standing there is speechless his mind is spinning the floor under him doesnt seem as solid anymore. He can't think not only because his best friend just confronted but for the first time in 3 years his time is off HE IS OFF SCHEDULE. He sits down to brace himself, but just as he sits Ariel comes storming straight for him. She sits beside him and says Brock "do you like me?" because "I like you" Whoa whoa whoa did Brock hear right "SHE likes him SHE" repeating in his mind. "Brock" she says whats going through your mind "I want us to hang out" "I want to get to know you better"-Whoa whoa whoa time out again everything freezes even time "she wants to hang out" hang out but I cant do that no no hanging out is simply impossible (speaks to himself on mind) "What do you think Brock" Ariel says. Brock stammers "umm uhh ahh umm" partly because he likes her (see his hands clammy) and partly because he knows his schedule cant be compromised he keeps looking at his watch with no direct response to her. Ariel takes his response back as shyness and smiles saying "well tell me what you think tomorrow" and walks off. Brock who lost track of time feels insecure and vulnerable for the first time in his life he gets home extremely late forgetting which is his house due to the recent interactions and geting off-schedule.
When Brock his parents look to question him but he simply goes to his room shuting the door, he deciedes to weigh his options. Option one (flashforwards) he responds back to Bree saying he is sorry they make up go back to old childhood days as inseperable brothers and all is well with him, and tells Ariel he just wants to be friends for now but will put in a bigger effort to maintain conversations, seeing everyone as an equal besides his brother Bree. Option two he says he likes Ariel too and they start hanging out more and more him new to this guy and girl thing sets up nothing and Ariel plans there day out everyday before long he falls in love with her perfection and has a new driving force in his life her, making all aspects of his life her and Bree is further neglected breaking their friendship. Option three he continues on with his time consumed life he lets no other thing distract him again ever. Bree is forgotten and they both go their seperate ways and Ariel is heartbroken, but rebounds and is seen with another guy.
The Outcome- Brock after constant thinking at 4am the next morning takes off his watch and goes to sleep.
I liked the idea of your treatment, it wasn't too cliche. I liked how you explained how the story went on and the importance of the Brock's watch. I think it would be too hard having the time lapse to 3 years, I'm not quite sure how you would show it. I'm not quite sure how it has to do with manipulating or going against time either.
ReplyDeleteI liked that your treatment incorporated time, but I feel that time could play a stronger role. I dont know if we can cover all your plot lines, because there are lots of ideas that are in the plot. Im not sure if we can talk about both the best friend and the girl. I also agree with Plenny that a time lapse to 3 years would be difficult.
ReplyDeleteI liked your idea and how you used time as an element for your film. I definitely agree with Kevin and how you can develop time as a stronger role in the film. I also like how you are incorporating flashforwards and flashbacks, but yes the flashforward to 3 years could be a little hard to do. Good job!
ReplyDeleteThe idea of your film is unique and has good relations to the Run Lola Run theme. However, im confused as to what is the focus of the movie; the golden watch or the boy's mechanical ways of life. Also, is the conflict of the story the boy trying to break out of his mechanical ways or trying to get closer to this girl. Overall, this idea seems very powerful, and the ending is perfect in closing it.
ReplyDeleteI like the plot of your story, but I'm not clear on how you've planned on showing this with the camera. You need to flesh out more of the details which show how he runs his life by his watch. Something like a montage of Brock's watch going off as soon as his toaster finishes would help flesh out his character. I think it's a great plot, you just need the details.
ReplyDeleteThis definitly shows your consideration for your film as it is in depth and considers all the factors that are required (especially time). This film calls for a good development of the main character which is essential in drawing in the audience. This concept is very unique in flushed out, but keep in mind that this film is only 7 min, and for this treatment to be fulfilled with its greatest potential, you need much more time, so if possible condencing may help this film out.
ReplyDelete