Logline: Technology is taking over tradition and the old generation's lives; an old man can not believe what society today has become...will he ever submit to technology?
An old house with a neat front lawn. An old man wearing khaki pants, a navy blazer, and a duck billed hat steps out of the front door onto a wooden porch. He relaxingly closes the door, walks onto the sidewalk and proceeds to begin his daily tasks.
The old man walks casually down the street, calmly observing the neighborhood around him. He glances over to the other side of the street and sees a pair of young kids playing with a handheld game, eagerly looking over each other’s shoulders. A deflated red ball sits just a few meters away from where they are sitting on the sidewalk.
The deflated ball is kicked.
The old man, slightly disappointed, continues on his walk as he does everyday.His life has been a daily routine everyday.
The old man is sitting down at a local diner, reading the day’s newspaper. Nearby conversations are heard. A young waiter comes by and asks what he wants to order. The waiter suggests to try the new mocha that they are promoting. The old man ignores him and asks for “a black coffee”. As the old man sips the last bit of coffee left in the cup, he puts on his coat, pulls out his wallet from the inside of his coat and leaves some old bills on top of the check.
The old man is sitting in a park playing chess with a friend. He moves his queen in place and declares checkmate. In the background, kids are playing basketball. Suddenly, a basketball strikes the chessboard. A teenager runs past the two old men to retrieve the ball. The two old men yell in protest but the kids smirk and continue their pick up game.
The old man opens up the front door to his house and hangs up his jacket. Immediately an old phone begins to ring. He walks into the kitchen and picks up the phone. His son tells him how he and his son are supposed to come over that same day. He walks over to the refrigerator, glancing at some old photos. In passing his son asks about how that computer he sent him is working for him. The old man glances at a computer monitor sitting next to the garbage can in the front yard. The old man says fine.
The old man opens the front door for the dad and his son to walk in. The kid is texting on his phone even as his dad tells him to put it away. They exchange greetings.
At the dinner table dad and grandpa quietly eats while the kid is still texting on his phone. Dad seems to not be disturbed with his son texting at the table. Old man firmly asks the kid to put his phone away and that its rude to be on the phone at the dinner table. The kid reluctantly puts his phone on his lap. Dad suggests that the two of them go to the park together, for a little bonding time.
Old man and the kid are sitting a few feet away from each other on a park bench. The old man reaches into a small plastic bag and disperses some bird feed to the pigeon. The kids seems very bored and irritated. The old man offers the kid the bag, but instead he pulls out a gaming handheld. The old man turns back towards the birds and continues feeding them.
The kid is sitting in front of the TV set trying to set up his game console. The old man is sitting in his chair reading his paper. The front page talks about how “technology has ruined modern society”. However, when he looks to the rear of the TV set, he discovers that the game system is not compatible with the TV. The kid screams at the TV displaying static in frustration. Suddenly, the old man gets up, picks up the game console, and thrusts it on the floor. The kid, in utter awe and confusion, is yanked by his father while he is yelling at his dad (old man) about how . . .
The old man stands confused and unsure of himself as dad and son pack up to leave. The door closes on the old man, still dazed by the unfolding of events.
Is it done?....
ReplyDeleteHaha otherwise good story. The theme is evident in its integration into the 3-Act structure. I like the character development--how he seems like such a nice old man until what he sees as meaningless distractions gets to him. The conflict is good, but I don't see any resolution...which is why I asked if it was finished. It sounds like production design and getting good actors is going be a bit difficult, but I bet you could pull it off =)
Story doesn't sound completely done yet. But what you have so far is good and sounds interesting. I think your story line, is really unique and has a different concept to it. I like how you develop your character because at first he just comes across as an average grumpy old man but as time goes on we see his struggle to accept technology. I agree with Jenna when she said that there seems to be no resolution to the conflict. I've been trying to think of a resolution, but it's kind of hard which may be why you are stuck. I think your that finding an actor for the old man might be a little difficult, but I think finding good actors is going to be a difficult situation for all groups. I think you can definitely pull off this production once you find a strong resolution to the conflict. Good luck!! (:
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